I already know that this post will raise some controversy, especially with the facebook timeline that I have. First off, I would just like to state that this post is NOT about bashing teen moms, young married couples, or any other walk of life. I applaud you all. I cannot imagine the amount of work that you guys put in every day, both on the clock and off of it. I can barely even remember to turn off my bathroom light before I leave the house, eat breakfast, or take my vitamins. It’s not that I am irresponsible, because I am far from that… I just like the freedom that being 19 brings!
I was born to teen parent’s myself. I got to experience first hand the hardships that young parent’s struggle with day to day. I witnessed my beautiful, resilient, and intelligent mother struggle through poverty, divorces, and balancing 3 kids and (at times) 3 jobs. I think growing up in this atmosphere is what has kept my head on straight and has really pushed me to enjoy my freedom that comes with my age.
I am smart enough to know that not all babies are planned and that accidents happen. (duh, or I wouldn’t be here!) I know that ANYONE who is having sex is at risk of getting pregnant, I get that. I am also totally aware that no one should point fingers at others for getting pregnant if they themselves are sexually active. It can happen to anyone. HOWEVER, I am also smart enough to realize that if I don’t want a baby right now then there is a multitude of ways to keep it that way. (ie. abstinence, birth control, condoms..).
Recently I have not been able to log into any of my social media sites without seeing a pregnancy announcements, baby birthday’s, birth photograph’s, baby-daddy drama, engagement announcements, honeymoon pictures…etc.
A couple weeks ago I posted a picture of my new kitten with the caption “While everyone else is announcing they’re pregnant, I’m announcing I have a new pet!”. I’ve seen similar posts stating things such as “While everyone is over here having babies, I’m _________!” What seemed as a harmless post sparked MULTIPLE conversations with young moms defending their choices and lifestyles, or (what I found to be astonishing) bashing me & other young adults for not having babies. Wait, what? I encountered several claims saying that “we” as young adults without children were “immature”, “sluts”, “partiers”, or that “we” needed to “grow up”.
Let me just stop right here.
Am I really having to defend myself and other young adults my age for NOT reproducing? I thought that this kind of conversation wasn’t supposed to happen until we were 30 something and still single with no intentions to reproduce while our “clock” was ticking. Apparently not, because I have found myself having this conversation with multiple people on multiple occasions… and I am still attending school, 19 years old, and at least 25 years away from menopause. Seriously? What’s the rush? I honestly don’t get it. I am in a happy, stable, relationship with a man I love unconditionally.. but wedding bells don’t ring in either of our heads as we binge watch Netflix while eating reheated, 3 day old leftovers, in our pj’s.. AND I LOVE IT!
What you want to do in your spare time is your business. If you found the man of your dreams and you’re madly in love, and you both want to make the commitment to get married, then congratulations! Marriage is such a blessed, beautiful, responsible… (the list goes on with fantastic words) decision. I will be happy for you, if I personally know you then I will support you. Same goes for having a baby. They’re a gift from God, such wonderful little blessings and are so precious. You know your life and yourselves better than anyone else and I applaud you all for making such adult decisions at this point in your lives.
However,it’s just nothing that interests me at this point in my life. I love my baby brother to death & I hope that someday I will get to see my parents welcome another bundle of joy into our lives, but after a few hours i’m over it. I like to shower whenever I want. I love to be able to hang out with friends whenever I want, choose an education and career I want. I love having the freedom that being a young adult brings. I could never financially support a child at this point in my life, heck I can barely remember to eat my own breakfast sometimes. And as far as getting married goes, I don’t see any engagement announcements for years to come. I want to finish school, have a career, and be with my love for a long time before we make any permanent decisions that will effect the rest of our lives. If I am going to marry someone anyways, then I don’t see the rush. Marriage won’t make me love anyone anymore than I do when I am in a serious relationship with them. *my opinion*
So for whatever decision my fellow facebook friends decide to make, I think it’s wonderful if your heart is really into it. I support you all, and most likely stalk your pages to see your gorgeous wedding photo’s, or see your sweet little baby’s progress and grow. I love watching you all live and lead happy lives. All that I ask is that you all do the same for me, because at this point in time I have other main focuses and priorities in my life that don’t consist of warming a bottle at 2 AM, or planning a honeymoon and wedding colors.